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Guys, You Should Do This To Your Girlfriend


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Sadangkan Lidah Lagi Tepapak
So sudah dalam kreta and startkan bejalan, bisdia ani pun diam-diam tah saja macam belimbing alum masak kana kupas, dua-dua munjung and inda mau memujuk antara satu sama lain walaupun duduk besebalahan.
After kan stangah jam berlalu and masih lagi diam-diam, bisdia pun melintas satu tampat yang ada karbau tangah mengunyah-ngunyah rumput sambil berandam dalam aying, and dangan sarcastic lakinya betanya arah bininya.
Palakian : Saudara you ka tu berandam dalam jakuzzi ah??
Bininya : Eh mana? Ouh atu kah? Awu.. ipar-ipar me saja tu!! napa?
Palakian : *dalam ati* ada kang ku ladai mulut nya ani. !@!#$%
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Modern Granny
S- nini me/ Y- me.
Y: assalamualaikum ni.
S: walaikumsalam cucungku.
Y: cucungkan membgtau bahawasanya cucung bjaya masuk ke college ani.
S: bagus cucung ani ah, mendalam bah ajam kan belajar atu.
Y: well, apanya paji saban, indakan lari gunung dikejar, menuntut ilmu biarlah hingga ke pisuk lahad.
S: bisai udah tu cung, daulu nini kana pajal bah kawin awal, mun nda dcambridge nini udah ni.
Y: nini kawin awal bah? tapi inda banyak anak ah.
S: au lai, mun kan di ikutkan kisah benar, datu mu atu anacondanya inda pemarah.
Y: astagey. padantah jua nini mencari yg kedua.
S: au cung, mana inda ulah, kan menurunkan waris jari antu ani bah.
Y: ainako wala jenjeng.
Nini me tedc.. then ada tia email baru mengadd me, zaitonselamat_menyengat@live.com. and ditextnya me.
"Cung, ani email nini yang baru bebuat"
Y: adiih nini ani. behapatah banyak-banyak email ani?
S: email ani top secret bah cung. ani utk scandal nini yg ke 1001. if cung mau, nini banyak ni email chatters lelaki macho.
Y: ahh. padantah cucung nda ampit laki-laki ani, rupanya semua nini merungap.
S: cung, i gtg, ni ada chatters kan jumpa nini ah. keh, love and peace yaw! XOXO
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little red riding hood: behind the scene
On the waynya kesana atu, ada ia nampak Big Bad Wolf (nama sebenar) duduk-duduk sebalah sungai damit sorang-sorang.
Little Ride Riding Hood : Bwohhh, basar mata you atu jeng!!!
Dangan riak muha macam belacan alum betutuk, Big Bad Wolf atu pun melumpat and lari dari sana dangan kelajuan 70 batu sejam.
Little Ride Riding Hood pun menaruskan pejalanannya lagi kerumah ninigirlnya until nampak ia lagi Big Bad Wolf atu yang tangah sandar-sandar arah belakang puhun pinang macam orang menunggu bas. Astee..
Little Ride Riding Hood : Bwohhh, basar telinga you atu Jeng!!!
Skali lagi, Suut!! Suut! Suut! Big Bad Wolf atu bekirik and lari dari sana and hilang dari pandangan mata that girl...
Dalam 2 kilometer perjalanan kerumah ninigirlnya atu, what a surprise ada ia lagi Big Bad Wolf atu, tapi kali ani sebalah busut ia macam orang kan minta numbur.
Little Ride Riding Hood : Bwohhh, basar gigi you atu Jeng!!!
Inda semana-mana and inda me sangka, cempedak menjadi kurma, Big Bad Wolf atu pun hilang sabar, di lumpati Little Ride Riding Hood and beterais sekuat-kuat suara macam Mariah Carey kana sunat..
Big Bad Wolf : HHHhhhoooii! Inda ko paham ka manis? Jangan tah mengacau kediaku bah.. orang kan beria pun inda besanang eh!!!
Little Ride Riding Hood : !@#$%^& *baik bawa mengucap*
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Facts Pasal Couple di Brunei
2. Ice queen ( ego?) klayi bukan tah kan ngakun salahnya walaupun ya salah.
3. No chemistry. inda sefahaman. surang mau ice cream, surang mau chocolate. apakan?
4. Selingkuh? HAHAHAHAHAHA. ketahuannn!!! ani yang paling babi sekali la.
5. No freedom.semua inda buleh, tepaksa tapok2.. sabar sha.
6. Partner gauk2 tawa2 kan be cali kana signal2. kana cakapi "Bisai2 deh ulah atu!" aww sandi.
7. Permission, apa saja mesti tanya. parents nda lagi tanggung tu. bf / gf lah tanggung! haha.
[lau ke jamban mesti ada permission kaaah??? :O ]
9. Masalah damit jadi masalah basar. macam kan durang klayi pasal tayi wah, sampai esuk2 nda betagur.
10. Ani nda semua la, Penjeles kan mati. senyum arah kawan pun inda buleh. kana tantang tarus!
[baiktah marung2 saja...lau kana tanya kenapa, gtau saja, gf/bf ku nda suruh aku senyum arah kamu.... >:D ]
[no comment]
[err..i do this. sampai subuh inda selalu ahh!!! nyehehehe~ ]
[aku:kau jua suruh aku betelipun sama kau, yatah abis tuu..talor! *umban meja rahh partner*]
[minta tampar kali? ]
[aku nda buat anii...psl aku bukan sweet talker...:P + jodoh bukan di tanganku ]
[umm..no comment]
["awuutahh, aku tah buduh..." OH SO CLICHE! pfft~ ]
[jangantah kan menipu lau inda pndai... ]
[sindir balik lau apa yg ea cakap atu menyakitkn hati~ ]
[krg sudah inda bejumpa, keluar ni krg yg ane: "*nama gelaran partner*, i waNt U 2 B bSiDe me rYt n0w...i niD 2 C U" ]
[lau beria cemana tuu? HAHAH ]
[wuu, bida...lau ada kwn laki2/bini2, kn jeles tah tuu? ee~bari sasak..hahaha ]
[hmm~ no comment]
[no comment]
[hmm.nda semestinya.lau ea rindu kawan lamanya, cemana tuu? ]
[mun nda beduit cemana??? ]
[ummm~ selalu ne berlaku!! ]
[ . . . ]
[ umm..banar plg nii...p aku tau malu! ]
[gtau saja malas kan bali credit..nyahahahaha~! aku nda pernah buat cani XD ]
[aku benci orang cemani..hee~ ]
[wuu~ atu baruya...p romantic plg tuu...especially lau liat ceta yg romantic ]
[lau $$$ bnyk boleh laa... p aku nda punn~ ]
[no comment]
[ *thumbs up* menangis smpai panuh kolam ikan??? majal tah banar.lingka! ]
[ gtau saja aku sibuk psl aku main game...abis cerita]
[gtau saja aku sibuk liat ceta korea...]
[no comment.psl aku nda faham xP ]
[atu banaaar..tuli kali? ]
[awuu, membari malas tah banaar... eh cuba kamu reply canii, "inda kali" or or anii, "inda pecaya?maritah ke sini, ku tunjukkan kau taie ku!!! ..biar ea feel annoyed... pfft~]
[HAHAHAAH! no comment =_= ]
[lain kali balikan saja yg dari kadai one eighty...mun nda pandai besyukur, baiktah putus! ]
[hello? nafsu itu ada pada setiap manusia... =_= ]
[baiktah jadi buta, nda pyh liat]
[advice:aga awal! biar ea... ]
[awuu, banar...=X ]
[lau arah gallery buleh laa, lau arah profile picture mcm ****! HAHAHA.pakan =_= ]
[awuuu...selalu ni ku liat cemani, termasuk aku! hohoho~p aku jrg jiwang ]
[lagu dangdut???HAHAHA ]
[andang jua buduh! talur! ]
[no comment]
[awuu..cian :( ]
[lau tereject cemana? lau time ea mc atu d library cemana???? ]
[bodoh! ]
[aku inda aaaaa~! ]
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G-Strings for men
This g-string is applicable to all men in this world. Errr…gay men to be exact~ :P So to all gays, pls buy this one..I know you would like it…EUWWWYUCK!
It’d be painful because it’s a string..d-oh~ HAHA
If you have small penis, then you can use this…but I can’t. ![]()
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Things Men Say
"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner had great tits."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
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Gender Designation
COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
REMOTE CONTROL: Female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider � it gives a man pleasure. He'd be lost without it. Lastly while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
SHOES: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.
ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
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Preliminary Exam

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Akibat Makan Ubat Tahan Lama



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Tijah budak kampung, tapi bekerja di Kuala Lumpur . Biasalah bila sudah duduk 'town', mula lupa asal usul. Pakaian seksi maut, bercinta pula dgn lelaki mat saleh. Ke hulu ke hilir menayang boyfriendnya yg bermata biru.
Mike....
I have think about this very cook-cook. I know I clap one hand only. Correctly, I have seen you and she walk-walk together at town with eyes myself. You grab hand she.
Tijah
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Women as explained by Engineer
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A cabbie picks up a nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring. He replies:
'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says,
'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

glitter-graphics.com
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'
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Gambar-Gambar Lama
















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